In October last year, Devanshi, a 21-year-old intern in the city, decided to give a matchmaking event a shot. Like most of the young crowd there raised on and eventually let down by digital overkill, she was more intrigued than hopeful. At a lively venue in Koramangala, she was joined by more than two dozen people, all hoping to meet someone the old-fashioned way: speed dating. The initial uneasiness, Devanshi says, soon gave way to a pleasant atmosphere as people started to mingle. “The introduction was very warm and friendly, and made me feel safe despite being surrounded by strangers. There were a few icebreaker rounds where you get to know as many people as possible, and then there were dare games and other interactive activities. At the end of it, you can either ask someone out on a date, or just give a compliment if not ready to make a move,” she says. Although she didn’t find a partner — she met some interesting people — it was a refreshing experience after all, she says.
For better or worse, dating apps may have made it as easy as swiping a finger across the phone screen, but an increasing number of people — particularly 20-something daters — are moving offline to find meaningful, lasting connections through real-life meet-ups. Enter (or re-enter!) speed dating, a ’90s matchmaking trend making waves in the dating scene today. Originating in the US, the trend saw a bunch of strangers mingling with each other with each interaction lasting a mere 10 minutes. It was instant, thrilling, and you never know what you’ll find — exactly why people are now gravitating back to it following a long reign of apps after the mid-noughties.
A comeback
There’s a slew of matchmaking companies organising speed dating events in the city, often with a theme that brings together people with similar interests — book lovers, fitness enthusiasts, even pet parents. Curated events take the pressure off, giving daters the opportunity to meet like-minded people in a relaxed setting. “Speed dating events are making a comeback for a couple of reasons: One, you get at least a few options to explore compatibility or personal likes and dislikes; and two, it’s a single fee for many experiences under one roof. It possibly saves time, travel, and money,” says Aendri Mishra, a psychologist and relationship counsellor. And it’s not always about finding a partner: “It can also just be a fun environment to help build confidence and expand your social circle,” says Om, one of the founders of Unfoldlove, a speed dating organiser in the city.
In its earlier days, most speed dating sessions saw each interaction lasting less than 10 minutes, keeping it exciting, and embracing the ‘speed’ part. Current times have witnessed an increase in the interaction time limit, which can last between 10 and 15 minutes, sometimes longer. This change likely signals a move toward high-quality interactions forging genuine connection, something that has long been neglected on dating apps.
“Dating culture varies with each city. A big metro like Mumbai or Bengaluru has people coming from across the country, and they’re likely to have a much more modern outlook toward relationships and dating. But we are seeing a growing trend in people latching onto traditional ways of meeting potential partners — they’re now more welcoming of such events,” says Sourav Arya, founder of Small World, a matchmaking events organiser.
The gender gap
The gender ratio at these events isn’t dissimilar to dating apps and elsewhere: Heterosexual women are usually presented with more options than their counterpart. “It is often skewed,” says Aryaman Panda, a techie in his 20s who met his current partner at a speed dating event. “When I went to an event, the women were assigned tables, and the men were made to meet them one after the other. We huddled around, 10 or 15 of us, looking like interview candidates waiting for their turn,” he laughs. The good thing, he says, is that it doesn’t get too awkward as people are generally very friendly and help others socialise.
On average, about 25-30 people sign up for a particular event. The organiser hosts the event keeping in mind the crowd and its preferences. The rules are made clear right at the beginning. The most important one? Things proceed only with consent from both sides. The ticket prices start at around Rs 199, but it usually varies. “I bought a ticket for Rs1200, but while booking online, I noticed that prices varied for men and women. If men’s ticket prices range from Rs 1200 to 1500, for women it’d be just Rs200 to 500. That’s a stark difference, but I’m guessing it is lower for women to encourage them to participate in more numbers,” says Panda.
“Although men usually outnumber women, at the end of the 2-hour event, everyone gets a chance to interact with each other,” says Sourav Arya. On the other hand, Akhil, an IT professional in his 30s, had a different experience: “By the end of 2 hours, most of the women had met almost 15 guys each, while guys could interact with only 2 to 5 women. The patience these women have is commendable — I felt exhausted after just a couple of meetings,” he says.
A safe space
Matchmaking events offer solace to queer singles looking for a safe space to embrace their identity and form genuine connections. “It allows them to be transparent,” says Umang Sheth, founder of Mr and Mr, a platform that organises speed dating events for gay men. At a recent event in the city, at least 20 people showed up for a fun evening of games and conversations. “For many, it was a first-time experience. When a couple came out, they felt safe enough to share their deepest insecurities without any judgement. Online dating has turned into a hookup space, and events like these offer a place for people who are serious about finding a partner,” he says.